And Because I Can’t Draw …

… I used Stripgenerator.


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Here’s a List of Problems …

… that we can see if we look at it in the “bigger picture”.

It’s a host. It’s a throng. Of problems. Problems in our country that needs more attention than the Hayden Kho – Katrina Halili Scandal and the US television scriptwiters’ view of our country.

A comment on my last post said that we should look at the “bigger picture” on the Revilla outrage for Alec Baldwin’s comment (which, really is an unfunny joke- but still a joke at that): we should support our senators who are doing something, at least.

Well, here’s a list of what they SHOULD be doing, for real:

1. Too much literate people.

We have a lot of intelligent people in the Philippines, it’s bordering on the insane. Next thing we know, were too intelligent and too smart to procreate, like  South Korea. We are too learned in fact, that kids from the mountainmost barrios of Leyte are spontaneously combusting- they are being blinded with Science.

We need to put tax on incoming foreign books because dangit, people’s brains are just exploding all over the place.

2. A shitload of jobs with no one to do them.

Oh we are just overflowing with work here in the country. We have too much employment here in fact, that most of us go OUT of the country to work. We need the challenge. We need the challenge to not see our loved ones for years. It’s Survivor Philippines MaxMegaUltima. It makes us tough. The Senate needs to address this. Let us approve the visas of those Ompa-Loompas so they can work here.

3.  There is a shortage of CallCenter and OFW openings.

It is pretty scary to think that the best and brightest of us will miss on the chance to work on a callcenter or be a maid in somebody’s attic. Its devastating. Where will they learn their cool, neutral accents? How will they form their Inter-Riyadh Pinay Association?

4.  Absence of hunger

There is no hunger in the Philippines. Let us find hunger! Man a search party! Hunger, where are you? Let’s use Wowowee to look for hunger. Then show our talent.

5.  No impoverished people

There is a lurking danger in our society.  What will be the subjects of our Cannes entries?  Who will be our opponents in Wowowee?

6.  Environment

The way I see it, nobody is doing anything about our environment.  There is still too much foliage in our country.  We are an archipelago, menaing we are surrounded by beaches, yet for some reason, we have not bastardized and fucked them enough.

I am well aware that there are a lot of issues today besieging our country, needing attention, like Baron Geisler showing his jewels or Aling Dionesia or wtf did Noli de Castro do in office these past few years.

I am sure we are tittilated ecstatic over that mayor-guy-who-have-been-made-into-a-movie throwing water over Kho and searching for the videos of Belo and others.

But there are more things to think about in the bigger picture. What say you  Manny Pacquiao, all-exalted guy who has achieved National Hero status alongside Ninoy Aquino and Andres Bonifacio.

Oh here’s the answer: mass-produce national heroes by making them win in televised sports.


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Why Senator Bong Revilla Should Shut Up …

… and spare us all.

Senator Ramon “Bong” Revilla has recently raised hell in the media following Alec Baldwin’s shots on Letterman about “taking on a Filipino mail order bride … or a Russian one.”

What escapes Revilla is that Alec Baldwin was joking, and that people have made a lot of jokes about other people’s nationalities before. Well, at the very least, Baldwin was TRYING to be funny. Revilla is just obviously trying to be famous again for the upcoming elections, but let’s not dwell on that.

The thing to remember here is the irony that Revilla, himself, is a film and TV celebrity here in the Philippines. And let’s not be coy about it, it was the prime push he used to snag a senate seat.

Fact is, there used to be, or maybe still, mail order brides here in the Philippines (and/or in Russia). What Revilla should be outraged about is the fact that Filipinos are raring to escape the Philippines, because numbnuts like him doesn’t help at all. All of what we have heard from him since the elections were his scuffle with MTRCB Chairman Edu Manzano and the well-publicized wedding of his non-showbiz daughter.

Revilla has played an adulterer and a philanderer in countless of movies, are we offended? Do we really believe Baldwin will take on a Filipina bride? Do we dare believe Revilla will give Baldwin a walloping once he steps foot on th country?

Or maybe the barometer is Manny Pacquiao. Now that guy can threaten.


Filed under Amusing Ammunitions, Dry

Numbered Updates …

.. because I’m too tightfisted on words to make a full blog entry for each.

  1. Watched Slumdog Millionaire. Finally. 2 AM, Sunday Easter morning. I wonder what the hype is (was?) all about. I concur with Salman Rushdie; it is kind of improbable. I found lots of holes which cracked my suspension of disbelief. I think Jamal is such a flat character. Contrary to popular notions, you can be a flat character and still be entertaining, i.e. Gregory House. Or is it that I just don’t resonate with totally pure and idealistic characters? They are fucking boring.
  2. Birthday greeting count: 1 remembered genuinely. 4 uses their phone calendar options. 7 was reminded by Facebook. Conclusion: Facebook reaffirms that I exist on this plane.
  3. My friend Arvin says I’m too nice. I shouldn’t be. Must find way to be …bad. No. Not the word bad. Something different. Malevolent? Oh please. I’m already malevolent inside. Will somebody give me a word that describes a guy “who doesn’t give a rat’s ass” ? “Indifferent” is still quite too nice.
  4. The thing about birthdays is that you are always faced with the question of accomplishments and experiences, well, especially for non-high-achievers like me. We always question whether breaking our backs on something essentially insignificant, trite and foolish is worth it, which, usually isn’t, because well, they are essentially insignificant, trite and foolish.
  5. Nikki. Oh how amusing the fact that she can’t or haven’t got a boyfriend in SG nowadays, especially when augmented by the fact that practically everyone on the floor on our former job here in PH, was eyeing her.
  6. I have this bubbling interest/amusement/fascination on Kat Dennings. She is oddly mesmerizing. And she is NOT a junkie.
  7. I have the intention of making my food blog one of these days. I’m quite serious about the fact that it should be a different voice in the world of Pinoy food blogging. Hey, we can’t all buy expensive food or ingredients, thank you.
  8. Its almost always the case: when a blogger is amiss in posting an entry, he or she is most likely overwhelmed by his or her own life or by the life of others through their blog entries.
  9. A decision coming. Something I can’t even begin to blog about yet. Because it both terrifies and excites me. But more on the terrified side.
  10. I have downloaded and started reading Tintin comics. I did not grow up reading Tintin. I grew up on Casper and Archie comics. So far, I’m in Congo and I’m bored.


Filed under Amusing Ammunitions, Dry, Humor Life

Do You Like Your Name …

… with all of your heart? I find it bull to equate love for your name with love for yourself. I like me. I just wish i could be called something else.

I believe in inherently stupid words, just as there are inherently funny ones. I find “elderly eggplant’ hilarious while there is something pretentiously stupid about the word “camaraderie”. Perhaps I should relabel them as inherently pretentious words.

Me, I have an inherently unfriendly name. Rare a Starbucks person could get my name right despite its simplicity and my good diction: Rich. Why, just two hours ago the Earle’s sandwich gay guy thought I we had the same name: Regg. (My god, what kind of name is that? Sounds like Egg.)

I mean, I have a name that really does not sound friendly and comes across as being “there” for somebody, you know. Even by Philippine standards. We all have that akin familiarity with guys like “Tonyo”, “Dingdong” and “Paolo”, right? How about nicknames like “Sam”, “Gene” amd “Max” (Samsoon, Deneroso, and Maximo)? All workable. Inherently friendly.

And notice that even inherently unfriendly named people can gate away with it. Can’t call your gay kumare by his true name “Baldo”? Well, just call him “bakla” affectionately and youre all set. And Piolo, everybody non-straight can call Piolo “Papa Piolo”. He unofficially owns the tag I think.

Well, I’m still thankful I wasn’t named Jograd.


Filed under Amusing Ammunitions, Humor Life

Along The Way To Looking For A Place …

… of my own, I am reminded of  lot of irritating things about Filipino life.

Before i get  to a full blown ranting, let me lay down the facts: I am, once again, looking for  a place to rent. This time, I’m dead serious about it. Okay, doubly dead serious. I am looking for a room in a 2-room 2 household apartment or a small studio. Near Makati. I know, its a lofty dream but hey, I gotta stick to me guns. There.  so if you have any info, just hit me up it will be highly appreciated.

Two: Manila, and the Philippines in general, will always be dear to me. It is just that the Filipino way of living is just like an intrepid great great grandmother: you love her dearly but there are traits you’d be happy to burn away.

Here are the things I cannot for Beejebus’ name comprehend:

1. Living small.

I cannot, for the futnuckin’ life of it, why and how Pinoys can settle living in a cramped place.  I understand the Philippines is just a small group of islands but is that any reason why classes D, C, and even some Bs would opt to live in near-coffin compartments? Sometimes I think its the lack of ambition. Ambition to live more properly. Because they are now used to the place.  Or accepting things without a fight.

Or do we have THE genetic makeup that will finally rid the world of claustrophobia? Does it have some significance as to why there are more unusually short college freshmen today than in my day? (My god, they’re freakishly small.)



Actually, you can live comfortably in a small place, look at the Japanese, tatami and futons no? Pero dito inaanay na cardboard, walang bintana, tsaka naglalaba pa si Ka Mameng sa may kanal inches away.

2. The roomates thing.

Boinking. Sleepwalking. Night terrors. Money problems.

Aside from that, there is no other reason to share a freaking room with another person. Unless you’re boinking your roommate, who is your gf/bf/secret gay lover, how in tarnation’s world would you be comfortable sharing a private quarters with somebody? More so if they are complete strangers?

It’s nuts I tell you.

My goodness, you’re earning enough to feed yourself and you live like a college dorm student? Bunking? With somebody? Pabili nga ng limang kilong dignity! Geez.

3. Working here but never really having a home here.

Rent a room or do the crazy roommate thing. But a lot of people doesn’t want a home or even consider having one here. For these chaps, their home is in their respective provinces: Isabela, Ilocos, whatsoever.

These are the guys who perpetuate substandard living conditions in the Metro. Sa kanila, pwede na yan kasi di naman talaga tirahan.  Mauuwian lang sa trabaho. Dude, if youre there the majority of the week kahit tulog ka, tirahan na yan, tanga. Magpakadisente ka naman mamaya kinakain ka na ng daga dyan.

4. Livin’ with the folks.

Okay, kumikita ka na ng sapat. Suppose to say you have no responsibilities. Solo flight, ika nga. Unless you have a debilitating ilness or a brain malfunction, why in hell would it NOT bother you that you’re still living with your parents or relatives?

Spare me the family solidarity schmuck. The Americans are right on this independence on a certain age thing.  Its an ugly truth:  some people don’t grow up, kahit na nakabuntis na. Pakshet Isang kaing ngang dignidad dito.

If we are building proper residential areas- heck even proper residences for the kind of people who are the backbone of the Makati Business district, it would make sense that we will be more productive. right? Good luck na lang manong kung di ka makapagtrabaho kasi kinain ng daga yung binti mo.

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Kaya Patok Ang Twilight Sa Pilipinas …

… share ko tong link ng post ni tristancaffeine from , Kaya ambenta benta ng Twilight dito kase sapak na sapak ang drama. Feel na feel talaga! Excerpt:

pagkarating niyang school tsong, may nakita siyang lalaking mukhang bangkay pero pogi. sakto. pogi pero mukhang bangkay. sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “hot pare”.

nung chem lab na ni babaeng maputla at emo, natagpuan niyang lab partner niya yung poging bangkay. so nung tinignan siya nung poging bangaky, angasim ng mukha nito. mukhang nandiri ata kay babaeng maputla at emo.

sabi ni poging bangkay “tangina mo”. sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “tangina KA”. sabi ni poging bangkay “tangina NIYA oh *tumuro sa teacher nila*”. sabi ni babaeng maputla at emo “oo nga noh. TANGINA MO”. sabi ni poging bangkay “tangina mo gago bampira ako”. tapos naghubad siya ng damit at kumintab ang katawan niya kasi linagyan niya ng glitters ang abs niya kasi tigas siya at ganun na ang mga tigas ngayon na nagpupuntang emba.

Read the rest here. Ang tanging masasabi ko lang… tangna ambangis. Emba!

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